Tag Archives: Foster’s

Australia!, Part 2


I have been thinking a lot about Australia today (as you might imagine) and it occurred to me that there are a few things about the Land Down Under I failed to mention in my previous post that I would like to mention now. Consider this post a random collection of the bullshit that runs through my brain.

To begin, I would like to talk about the restaurant chain Outback Steak House. I have a problem with the Outback. First, you and I both know that good food is typically not found in the strip mall complexes this great nation of ours is (horrifyingly) well known for. The homogeneous American suburb that Los Angeles has exported to the rest of the country is not the cradle of culture many would have you believe. And, it is in this setting that Outback Steak Houses are typically found. Have you ever found authentic international cuisine in a strip mall? Unless you consider the Olive Garden Italian food, of course you haven’t. I rest my case. But, while I am at it, can someone please explain to me the appeal of the Outback’s ‘Bloomin’ Onion’? Is one compelled to go the Outback to consume one of these monstrosities? They look nasty, Tiffany. In fact, I would almost rather put a human foot in my mouth.

But I digress…

Next, I want to talk about Australia’s money because it is so much cooler than ours. Have you seen all the vibrant colors their bills come in? Even better, some of their bills have a picture of good old Queen Beth Bess wearing her crown and gaudy jewels. Call their nod to the Queen one of the last standing vestiges of Empire, but I call it fabulous. Look at it this way: compare their bills to what we have. We have boring green bills will stuffy old white men on them. Who the hell cares about that? I’ll take colorful bills and an old queen any day over some stuffy white guys.

Tiffany, here is a random Tad ‘fun fact’. I’ve never had a Foster’s beer. I’m told they are not that great, but being the big beer fan that I am (currently sipping a delicious Pale Ale, I might add) you would think that a guy like me would have sampled a Foster’s. I have not. We should head to the pub and resolve this beer emergency as soon as possible.

Lastly, I have a problem with Americans who try to say ‘throw another shrimp on the barbie’ in an Aussie accent. Who the hell started saying that? Why did they think that was a good idea? It’s a question for the ages, isn’t it, Tiffany?

I think that sums up the remainder of my random thoughts about Australia. My partner is telling me there is a cool science show on that I should watch. Apparently it depicts Sydney being destroyed by a meteor shower. I’m not sure I am willing to watch my Aussie Bum fantasy destroyed by a bunch of rocks hurtling down at the city from space. I’ll let you know if I decide to watch it.